


In The Pit

by April_Valentine



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene, Rickyl, Rickyl Forever, Rickyl Writers' Group
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-18 21:34:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/April_Valentine/pseuds/April_Valentine
Summary: Rick and Daryl fought in Rick's penultimate episode, and they rolled into a deep pit where they had to confront some issues. They really talked, but I wish they'd said something more.This is my version of what we might have missed.





	In The Pit

“You knew, and you didn’t say anything?” Rick stood opposite Daryl, facing him in the pit where they’d landed after their brief physical fight above.

“Truth is, I couldn’t live with it either.” Daryl met Rick’s eyes, begging him to understand. Why couldn’t he understand? Didn’t they know each other that well after all this time?

But Rick was leaning toward him, his voice cracking with emotion.

“If this doesn’t work… if she kills… _Negan_ … he becomes a martyr. The war was for nothing. Every person who died, died for nothing. Carl. Carl died for nothing.”

The name of his son came out in a strangled whisper, as if Rick could hardly bear to say it. And Daryl knew the grief was still strong, still so immediate for Rick. Daryl had loved Carl too. Thought of him almost as his own son. But he couldn’t stop himself from saying what Rick had to hear.

“What about the rest of us? You think after all the shit we been through, we couldn’t handle it? You keep asking us to have faith in all these other people. Truth is, you don’t have enough faith in us.”

“You know that’s… that’s not true.”

Rick looked stricken, like it had never crossed his mind that Daryl or anyone else though he didn’t have faith in them. Daryl paused to let that sink in for the other man.

And then Daryl said more, stuff he’d held in ever since the war had ended.

“I’d die for you. And I would have died for Carl. You know that. But you gotta hear me. You’re chasing something for him that ain’t meant to be, man.” He paused, letting his voice soften, never meaning anything more tenderly in his life. “You just gotta let him go. Let him go.” 

Daryl had grieved for Carl too. Had watched Rick fight to end the war with Carl’s death fresh in his heart. Watched the man read and re-read his son’s letter in the days after they’d buried him. Watched him fall apart and pull himself back together because they were at war and first things needed to be first. And Daryl had been unable to get through to him, not then and not since.

And now Daryl thought perhaps Rick would talk about Carl. That they could get to the point that the dreams of a young man on the verge of adulthood couldn’t be fulfilled in the adult world both Rick and Daryl lived in. 

But Rick, as he’d been doing for the better part of two years now, stepped away from the subject of his son. He looked at Daryl, so lost, so desperate, but he coulnd’t talk about Carl, he couldn’t only step around the edges of that subject.

“I never… I never asked anyone to follow me.”

Was that a desperate bid for forgiveness? A painful truth Rick was suddenly seeing? An excuse that he was trying to make, even here and now trapped with Daryl when there shouldn’t be any defending, any hiding of truths.

“I know. I know. Maybe you should’ve.”

Rick looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“You never asked,” Daryl repeated. “You didn’t need to. Not back at the quarry or the farm… or the prison. I’d’ve followed you no matter what.”

Rick’s eyes never left his. 

“But these others… the ones who weren’t there through alla that – they shoulda been asked. You just assumed. If you’d asked… they might have stepped up but it woulda been their choice. And if you’d asked Maggie… she mighta understood.”

Rick turned away, hand to his forhead, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I know,” he finally gasped out. “You’re right. But – “ he turned back, eyes imploring. “I was grieving. Carl was… gone. And he wrote those leters and I just…”

Rick’s face crumpled and his shoulders sagged in defeat. “I’m sorry…”

Daryl hesitated a moment, but he couldn’t stand there and watch Rick grieve, couldn’t stand that lost look on the man’s face. 

He stepped closer, into Rick’s space. He lifted his hand, putting it on Rick’s shoulder. 

Rick gasped, the breath sounding strangled in his throat, desperate, agonized, and then he collapsed into Daryl, falling against him, hands gripping Daryl’s shoulders.

 _Still not askin’_ Daryl mused. _But it’s okay… I got ya.”_

_He wrapped both arms around Rick’s trembling body. And as the other man’s weight leaned into him, Daryl closed his eyes, remembering other times they’d been this close. All the times he’d been so close to Rick and yet had never said the words that once again, here in this pit, with the two of them alone and finally saying what they should have said back when the war had ended, Daryl suddenly had to say the things he’d kept from Rick all these years._

_It wasn’t the right time._

_But it hadn’t ever been the right time._

_Would it ever be? Could it?_

_All the anger Daryl had been feeling for the past two years faded away. And what was left was the pure, honest depth of feeling that Rick had brought into Daryl’s life so long ago. Daryl had never thought he’d feel that way for anyone else. But Rick had accepted him, given him respect, trusted him… and the feelings had been born. They’d never gone away._

_Daryl wrapped his arms around Rick’s body tighter, inhaling the other man’s scent, breathing in the totality that was Rick Grimes to him._

_“I know, Rick,” Daryl whispered, his voice low and scratchy with emotion. “But it’s okay… I understand. Sorry I didn’t tell ya how I felt before now… just didn’t think…”_

_Rick shifted, pulling back enough to meet Daryl’s gaze. “You didn’t think I was ready to hear it,” he said, finishing Daryl’s sentence._

_Daryl nodded. “You weren’t. Aren’t really even now, huh?”_

_“Maybe not.”_

_They were still standing chest to chest, Daryl’s arms still around Rick’s shoulders, Rick’s hands clenched in the fabric of Daryl’s shirt._

_“There’s more,” Daryl managed, his heart pounding with a hundred unsaid words, a thousand unshared feelings, a million lost opportunities._

_“Tell me then,” Rick said, as if preparing himself for the worst. “Nobody else is here. Just you and me.” He cocked his head to the side, then, considering. “Hasn’t been just you and me in a long time, has it?” he asked, his voice tinged with regret. “I’ve missed you, man. Goin’ on runs, fightin’ over the car stereo, killin’ walkers, talkin’ over tactics…”_

_“Miss you too,” Daryl said, very aware of how he’d kept it in the present tense. He saw Rick frequently but while Daryl was in charge at the Sanctuary, days and sometimes a week or more would go by without him seeing Rick. Not like the old days. Not like those nights when they’d camped out, keeping watch to make sure the group was safe. Not like when they’d slept back to back close to the fire. Not like when they’d silently cleared a building, only hand signals and eye contact necessary for communication. Not like when Rick had been the first thing Daryl saw every morning and the last he’d seen every night._

_Almost without Daryl thinking about it, he tightened his hold on Rick, pulling him closer against him. He wanted to say what was in his heart. Now, right now, with Rick so close and no one else around. But the words clogged up his throat, his heart pounded too loud for him to think, and he couldn’t say them even though a part of his brain was yelling to him. _Say it. You might never get another time._ And yet another voice, younger and more fearful whispered back, _It’ll sound stupid. Rick won’t understand. He’s laugh at you…”__

__“Daryl?” Rick asked, looking at him so intently Daryl felt he must have heard the internal argument that had caused his hesitation. “What?” Rick’s eyes were patient, trusting – like always, ready to wait Daryl out, ready to listen to what Daryl had to say. Rick’s hands released their grip on Daryl’s shirt and moved to his shoulders, gently pressing, almost rubbing comfortingly._ _

__“Rick, I…” His mouth was dry as an empty creek bed. But inside, a voice was screaming, _tell him…now!__ _

__“Said I’d die for ya,” Daryl ground out. “Do anything for ya. You know that.” He dipped his head, took a deep breath and let the words come. “I love ya, man.”_ _

__Rick’s eyes were holding his with an intensity of gaze that warmed Daryl deep inside. “I love you too. Always, brother.”_ _

__“Not just like that,” Daryl gruffed. In a panic, he wanted to look away. But he couldn’t. Rick’s eyes were holding him, accepting him. Like always. “I _love_ you.”_ _

__Rick’s face relaxed. Daryl had been expecting a gasp of surprise, a pulling back, hemming and hawing or changing the subject. But Rick’s eyes were still warm on him, there was no change, no confusion, no rejection._ _

__“Daryl… “ Rick said, his voice no more than a breath. He pulled Daryl closer, buried his face in Daryl’s neck. “I love you too.”_ _

__And as soon as the words were out, Rick’s hands went to Daryl’s face and he looked up at him, eyes soft with wonder and need and promise… and then they were kissing._ _

__Finally, finally, Daryl’s heart sang. He was kissing Rick. Kissing this man who he’d loved from afar for so long he couldn’t even remember. For so long before he’d realized what it was that he was feeling, what he wanted, what he needed._ _

__Rick’s lips were soft, persuasive, full and ripe and lush against Daryl’s own. Daryl hadn’t been kissed in such a long, long time. But this felt like coming home, like everything. Like the world had stopped and started over again, got a second chance, like the sun had come out after a long, long rain and cold, cold winter._ _

__Daryl’s lips opened as Rick deepened the kiss, his heart beating fast, knees feeling weak. Rick’s tongue slipped into Daryl’s mouth, eager, hungry but not moving faster than Daryl was ready for. Rick’s fingers threaded through Daryl’s hair, and his other hand roamed down Daryl’s back, his touch loving and welcoming._ _

__Daryl tightened his grip around Rick’s back, pulling him in, wanting him so badly, the words having finally been spoken breaking down the barriers he’d let build up between them._ _

__“We’ll work it out,” Rick gasped, breaking the kiss for only seconds before diving back in to kiss Daryl more deeply. “It’s gonna be okay.” He looked into Daryl’s eyes again, all his love and joy there for Daryl to see. “I’ll ask. We’ll ask everybody. I’ll talk to Maggie. I’ll tell her I’m sorry… “_ _

__But Daryl didn’t want to talk. He wanted to kiss Rick more, to kiss him until nothing else mattered but the two of them. He claimed Rick’s lips, already swollen plump and reddened from their kisses, tasting him, loving him. Daryl knew the world was waiting for them, that they needed to climb out of this pit and get back to what needed doing, but with Rick in his arms, couldn’t they spare just a few minutes for themselves? Couldn’t this love they were discovering be the most important thing for just a few more minutes?_ _

__“We’ll talk tonight,” Rick said, between Daryl’s eager kisses. “When everything’s done, we’ll talk.”_ _

__“Talk?” Daryl teased him a little. There was a time for talking and a time for this… this love they were making here in this dusty hole in the ground, the love he wanted to make with Rick tonight, in a bed, with the starlight coming in a window, with both of them naked and warm and together…_ _

__“Yes,” Rick murmured, his lips close against Daryl’s. “Yes, this too… “_ _

__Shots rang out suddenly, startling both of them. They parted, but only a fraction._ _

__“That was back at camp,” Daryl said, worried about their people._ _

__Rick stepped back. “It’s gonna draw those herds.”_ _

__They looked at each other._ _

__Time to get back to reality._ _

__Time to get out of this pit and face what was needing to be done. The world they couldn’t escape for long._ _

__But Rick had said “tonight” and that was enough for Daryl. For now. For always._ _

__“Come on,” he said, leaning over and lacing the fingers of both hands together, offering Rick a place to step up to try to climb out._ _

__They could do this. They could do anything._ _

__As long as they did it together._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this just as Rick's final ep begins to air. I still don't know what's going to happen to him, but I had to post this. Wish I could have gotten it done sooner but I needed the pressure to write it.
> 
> Rickyl Forever.


End file.
